


Reality Without You

by MindAndHeart



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Blood, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 19:51:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4800155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MindAndHeart/pseuds/MindAndHeart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After 2x20.<br/>No bros.<br/>No Valkyries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reality Without You

“Okay, annoying Lolita,” big sister of Carmilla measured me a contemptuous look, “I'll go talk to your annoying friends that they didn’t tell anybody too much.”

 

“Just don’t kill them,” I said with pleading voice, hearing the laughter of an ancient vampire. I swallowed. I was left alone with Carm.

 

Carmilla lay motionless on the sofa, sighing heavily. Though that J.P. and LaF pulled out arrow head from her, sometimes Carm wincing in pain. I looked at her, sitting on a chair, and shy to come up. I lacked the courage. Her reaction to me was not the best.

 

So I looked at her and I was absolutely sure that she was the one that I needed. But as I understood quite clearly. This attempt to analyze was not from doubt, but from ... what? Fear for her? Fear. I'm terribly afraid of losing Carm. This useless and cynical vampire can’t die! My lovely vampire ...

 

I stand up from the seat, slowly coming up to sofa, trying not to bring down the wrath of Carmilla. Coming up to her, I pursed that Carm’s lips was pale, her lips almost merges with the skin, all the clothes in the blood, her eyes are covered. I carefully picked up the leg of my ex-vampire to put leg on the sofa, and this making Carm shuddered, and I had to let go.

 

“Get out of here ...” she tried to growl at me, but it didn’t work. She grimaced.

 

  
“I wanted to help.”

 

  
“You already helped,” Carm took a deep breath, and a grimace of pain twisted of her face.

 

  
“Carm, let me help you ... please,” Carmilla opened her eyes, and she looked at me indifferently.

 

“And how does it cost your hour of altruism?” she grinned, immediately making a breath through her teeth. I carefully took thefootof Carm, putting leg on the sofa, covering blanket. Takingher hand, I was scared. The skin wascold. Damn. Don’t you dare die!

 

“You're cold,” she said nothing. I stood and looked at her, not knowing what to do. Where Mattie hide blood, I had no idea. I knelt down beside Carm, pushing her hair out of her face. Cold ... Carmilla turned her head in my direction, quietly exhale.

 

“I'm on honey heaven in a palette of bliss clouds wrapped meek languor ...” lazy smile slips on her lips. No, no, no. She raves.

 

“Carm, you're here. With me. In your mother's apartment,” I lifted a blanket; I take Carm in her hand, squeezing tightly.

 

“With you ... I have ... not with you.”

 

“Carm, it’s not important,” it’s important. This enormously important, but not in this situation. All actions have consequences. It’s useless to look for the reason why this situation has arisen among us to exclude our actions. More precisely I had no action. I was silent and inactive when Carmilla confessed to me in love. It's just ... it was too sudden. “You need blood, but I don’t know where your sister put it.”

 

Carm's eyes were dark, cold, indifferent staring at my face. My fingers fall on her cheek, gently stroking when Carmilla closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.

 

  
“Go away ...”

 

  
“Carm.”

  
  
“You ... doing worse ...”

 

  
“Carm, please,” I ask her.

 

“I don’t love you,” she said, and my hand pulls away from her face. I swallowed. No, no, no. I miss you. I miss the way we touch each other, looking at each other. No, Carm ... that what is between us is no longer the relationship; it doesn’t mean that the feelings were gone.

 

  
“Do you really ...?”

 

“No, but I ... it's easier,” Carmilla sighs swallowing. “I hate you because I love.”

 

God. How I’m tired of pretending that we “hate” each other. This is annoying even me. I decide to change the subject.

 

“I think you're just not used that someone cared about you.”

 

"You say that with a shame."

 

"It's not a shame," I sat on the floor. "I just love you."

 

Carmilla bite her bottom lip.

 

“Your words are too unreliable ... because ...,” sigh, “... human words always so ...”

 

“I love your love for me.”

 

I’m in love with her in that second, when she flirted with me on Zeta’s party. I think I even fell in love with her at that moment, when she tried to protect me, giving the bracelet of the wing of a bat, but I didn’t understand it. I love her voice. I love her face, her beautiful face. I love her hands, which once embraced me, giving me warmth and protection. When she touched me, it was like the magic of Harry Potter books. I love everything she does and how she does, and I don’t care about the consequences of her actions. I love to keep looking of how she reads, listen when she tells me what she liked and didn’t like to read in the book. I feel everything ... but I can’t say or explain it all. I just love her with all my heart. She can forbid me to see her, to hear her, but think about her, it’s impossible way to stop.

 

Without waiting for any response from Carmilla, I looked down, swallowed.

 

“Well, I'll go,” just as she wanted.

 

“Of course, you can leave ... but no one let go,” I grabbed her hand, squeezing slightly. I smiled, getting up from the floor, carefully sat down next to her, putting my hand over the palm of Carmilla.

 

“Laura, I'm so tired ... I miss you,” her fingers involuntarily bend and unbend, trying to squeeze my hand. I leaned over to kiss Carm, but I was afraid that she didn’t want to. Carmilla nodded, and I touched her lips. I kissed her as if I was praying ... God, Carm, please don’t leave me ... Her lips were so cold.

 

“I miss you too,” looking up from her lips, I whisper. Carmilla smiles weakly. “Carm, you need blood urgently.”

 

“Call Mattie, she would give me the blood ...”

 

  
“You can have mine,” I said quietly, running my fingers down her cheek, after stroking the skin with the thumb.

 

  
“I ... no ... I don’t want to hurt you ...” Carm exhales, wincing.

 

"You can’t hurt me. Come on, Carm. I don’t want to lose you again," I kiss her on the forehead, closing my eyes. I heard and felt her labored breathing.

 

“Take off the sweater and shirt ... ... because the blood ...” I move away from Carmilla, taking off sweater and threw it on the floor, quickly unbuttoning my shirt, sending to the sweater. Carm is trying to take off the blanket, but she had no strength. I help her to sit, and I have to stick my hand under her back, lifting her. With one hand I held her by the shoulder. I heard a soft sigh. It hurts.

 

Carm buries her nose in my shoulder, making breathing. Her hands lay down on top of mine. I release one hand, removing hair from the neck. Carmilla's lips touch my neck, gently kissing. After the kiss I feel the fangs are slow and incredibly painful pierce my skin, glaring, as far as possible.

 

My blood is quickly ignited. I feel pain in the neck, which spreads below the threads, and now I feel a pain in my chest. My lungs choking pain and fever, which are distributed throughout the body. The pain eats away the inside. I strongly closed her eyes. Feeling as if the pain took the start of the fire. Inside, everything is burning.

 

And then ...

 

... I feel that we are one body with her, one soul. Although, I don’t know if vampires have a soul. But I'm sure that Carm has. That's horrible. It’s love.

 

Lightness, I feel in my body, bordered by bliss, when I feel that Carm hands grasping my waist, clutching, holding close. My hands slide from her shoulders.

 

“Laura,” I hear the voice of Carm, and I thank God that her teeth are no into me. My body relaxed. God, I feel like jelly.

 

“Laura, Laura,” warm fingers touch my cheek and lip feels hot lips and the skin feels salty flavor. Blood.

 

“Carm,” my voice was so quiet that I could barely hear it. I slightly open my eyes and see that Carmilla looking at me anxiously. Her cheeks colored blush and she looked more alive.

 

“Laura,” the thumb rests on my lip, stroking, probably wiping the blood.

 

“Why ...” oh, how hard it’s moving my tongue. I feel that it weighs a ton. “... My body ... ... easy?”

 

“Because I took too much blood," she grins, and I notice that her wound below on the shoulder tightened. Now there was only a red spot. I swallow. I closed my eyes; I realize that Carm puts me on the sofa, lying nearby. Oh, how we are placed here together? She covers both of us a blanket, hugging me, pressing her forehead against mine.

 

“Carm.”

  
  
“M?” Carmilla purred on the cheek.

 

“If ... will ... go on ... pace ...” in my head sentence sounded differently, but my mouth gave quite different. Well, okay.

 

“What?” I hear laughter. Lively and quite laughter. Excellent. She laughs, and I was not very good. Everything, as always.

 

"... I die ... you ... before … "


End file.
